Self Love

When Everything Seems to Go Wrong

I know you’re hurting right now and everything feels like it’s against you but I promise that it’s not. And I’m here today to give you a little gentle-yet-firm reminder:

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Where attention goes, energy flows; where intention goes, energy flows.

– James Redfield

I know you’re hurting right now and everything feels like it’s against you but I promise that it’s not. And I’m here today to give you a little gentle-yet-firm reminder:

What we focus our attention on is what grows in our life. 

You are a powerful creator, and when your energy and attention is on the wrong thing, your beautiful creative powers begin to misfire and create the exact things that can feel the worst to you. It’s a test you’re giving yourself – don’t give the misfires any attention and you’ll see your life get back on track.

How, you ask? Everything feels so out of control!

Surely at this point you just want it to please, please stop. The pain is too much and it feels like the Universe is testing your strength and you’re about to break.

You aren’t being tested by the Universe… you’re just stuck in a pattern of miscreation. And I have the one formula that will help.

Focused attention + intention = miracles

Attention combined with intention is the most potent energetic combination. It’s clear, directed and positive. That’s the exact state you need to get into to turn your stroke of luck around and make your life flow in the right direction again.

When something comes along and trips us up, and causes PAIN… it gets our attention. That’s normal. But if we begin to dwell on it, obsess over it, or give it any amount of our energy beyond the first instance of pain… we are giving power to our misfirings. If you focus on the pain, more pain and trauma will show up for you. But if you focus on gratitude and focus your intention on what you actually want, you allow the misfiring energy a new creative space to work with.

Give it a try with these practices:


Since gratitude is one of the highest forms of positive energy, and you’ve already learned from this post that gratitude accelerates the good in your life, starting a gratitude journal can easily become your biggest ally in the positive life department.

When I’m in a funk, I looove to treat myself to a new notebook from my local bookstore, just around the corner from my house. There is something about this simple act of self care, combined with the smell of fresh coffee and crisp notebooks that already gets the energy flowing in the right direction again. I bet there’s a place close to you that will give you a similar experience to mine. Why not visit them now and come back to reading this post? Keep this tab open, you’ll need the next steps.

Great. Do you have your notebook? How did it feel to pick one out?

Didn’t go to the shop? Ok, grab a piece of paper. You can pen it into your notebook later.

If you’re absolutely not into handwriting – there are awesome mobile phone apps that replace a bound journal.

Next, take this moment to write down ten things you’re grateful for. Big or small – it doesn’t matter at all.

A small one that I am infinitely grateful for – that might seem small to you but OH it means the world to me – is a warm shower. This delightful little detail has given me immense pleasure throughout my life, and I’m sure it has for you, too, even if you aren’t consciously thinking about it. While we are on the subject of things we aren’t actively thinking about, I invite you to think about all the things you take for granted. This trains your brain to look for patterns of things going right, and in turn you’ll create more instances of things going right.

There are so many things in our lives that we can be grateful for but very often take for granted. I’m sure a lot more will come to your mind- challenge yourself this week to notice them and write them down.

Not into journaling? I hear you.

Another method (and one I like a lot because it’s time-saving) is to take some conscious time to flood my heart with gratitude, and then switch my attention to the outcome I’m desiring at the moment. You can do this using your own personal imagery and settling into your heart, full and expansive with the feeling of gratitude. Take five minutes, place your hand on your heart and let your mind wander into the realm of gratitude…”I’m grateful for my health, for being able to do everything I put my mind to, I’m grateful for my family, it’s wonderful that I’ve all of them around me” and then begin to list your desired outcome to the things you’ve been experiencing “I am grateful for a sound resolution to x, I am grateful for a peaceful conclusion to y, I am grateful that x result came back the best way it can.”

Watch how the storm of terror you were previously in the middle of will stop in its tracks.

What will you now consciously create? You have the choice.

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I'm Nadja, your new self-love friend.

As a recovered people-pleaser, I know how frustrated you feel when you care for everyone else but yourself. I've learned to set healthy boundaries and prioritize myself to create the life I want to live (not one where I comply with other people's guidelines). I'll show you exactly how to build YOUR life - the way you want to live it (and yes, boundaries play a huge role in that!) Start living unapologetically and totally YOU.

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