Ever walked away from a conversation feeling completely drained?
Ever found yourself saying yes when you desperately wanted to say NO?
Or maybe you’ve started wondering: “Wait… is this relationship actually good for me?”

If so, this episode is a must-listen. 🎧✨

Self-love isn’t just about bubble baths and affirmations—it’s about creating relationships that truly support and uplift you. And that starts with knowing how to set boundaries, protect your energy, and recognize when it’s time to walk away.

In today’s episode, we’re diving deep into:
✔️ How to set boundaries in romantic relationships—without guilt.
✔️ How to navigate friendships as a self-loving individual—because not everyone deserves VIP access to your life.
✔️ How to spot toxic patterns early and walk away with self-love and confidence.

By the end of this episode, you’ll feel more empowered, self-assured, and ready to build relationships that align with the most self-loving version of you.

🎙️ Ready to put your self-love first? Hit play now!

Listen to the full episode here:

Click the link below to choose your favorite player to listen to:

https://www.buzzsprout.com/2307122/episodes/16610290

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FULL EPISODE TRANSCRIPT:

Nadja Hagen [00:00:09]:
Are you ready to go? From Am I good enough to wait? Is this even good enough for me? Welcome to the Self Love Sessions podcast. I’m Nadja Hagen, your hostess and Self Love coach for all your high achieving women recovering from people pleasing and ready to prioritize yourselves. In this show I share actionable tips and tools to help you set healthy boundaries and prioritize yourself so that you can intentionally build your life, aligned with your values and finally build mutual connected relationships without the need to pretend to be someone you’re not. Let’s dive into today’s episode.

Nadja Hagen [00:00:51]:
Hey my friend and welcome back to the Self Love Sessions podcast. If this is your first episode, then you don’t know me yet. I’m Nadja Hagen. I’m your go to coach for Self Love boundaries and making sure you never again end up saying yes when every fiber of your being is screaming no. If you’ve ever felt exhausted in your relationships, whether that’s romantic friendships, family or even co workers, this episode is for you. Because today we are talking about how to set boundaries in romantic relationships so love can feel safe, unbalanced, not like a full time job with no vacation days. How to navigate friendships as a self loving individual because not everyone deserves unlimited access to your time and energy. How to recognize toxic patterns and stop second guessing yourself because red flags are not meant to be collected like trophies.

Nadja Hagen [00:01:50]:
And listen, if you’ve ever walked away from a conversation with someone and why do I feel like I just ran a marathon while carrying emotional baggage that isn’t even mine? Then guess what? That’s your cue. That boundaries are missing in that relationship. So today we are diving deep. We are unpacking all the things you wish someone had told you sooner. And by the end of this episode, I promise you’re going to feel more empowered, self assured and ready to start honoring yourself in your relationships. Let’s get into it. Alright, let’s start with romantic relationships. Now I want you to picture this scenario for a second.

Nadja Hagen [00:02:31]:
You start dating someone new. It’s exciting. It’s fun. The honeymoon phase is in full swing. The texts you constantly want to spend all their time with you shower you with attention and you are thinking, wow, this is what love is supposed to feel like. But then over time, the dynamic shifts. Suddenly they get annoyed when you take too long to text back, they poot when you make plans without them. They question why you need alone time or why you still keep in touch with certain friends and you start feeling like, wait a second, is this love? Or is this control disguised as affection.

Nadja Hagen [00:03:14]:
This is where boundaries come in. Because love should feel like freedom, not restriction. It should feel like support, not suffocation. Here’s the truth. My boundaries in relationships don’t mean you love someone less. They mean you love yourself enough to make sure your needs are being met too. So let’s break down three major boundaries that every healthy relationship needs. The first kind is time and energy boundaries.

Nadja Hagen [00:03:43]:
Because you’re not their emotional atm. Raise your hand if you’ve ever been the giver in a relationship. The one who drops everything to be available. The one who adjusts their schedule around their partner’s needs. The one who takes on their partner’s emotions as if they are your own. And at first it feels good, right? You want to be there for them. You want to show you care. But over time you realize, wait a minute, when do I get to have my own space, my own needs, my own time to just breathe? If a relationship makes you feel like you have no time for yourself, it’s a sign you need to set stronger boundaries.

Nadja Hagen [00:04:25]:
How to set this boundary? You could say something I love spending time with you, but I also need time for myself. Let’s make sure we both have space to recharge. Or if they are the type who constantly makes last minute plans and expects you to just go with it, you could say something I need a little bit more notice before making plans. My time is important too. If they respect you, they respect your boundaries. If they don’t, well, that’s something to pay attention to. The second kind of boundaries you need are emotional boundaries. Because their mood swings are not your responsibility.

Nadja Hagen [00:05:06]:
Ever been with someone whose emotions completely dictate the mood of the entire relationship? One second everything’s fine, the next they’re upset. Maybe about work, a friend or something you didn’t even do. And suddenly the energy shifts. Here’s the you can be supportive without being emotionally drained. You can care without carrying their problems on your back. If your partner expects you to be their full time emotional dumping ground, that’s a sign you need to protect your own mental and emotional well being. How to set this boundary? You could say something. I understand that you’re upset, but I can’t take on all of your emotions.

Nadja Hagen [00:05:51]:
I’m here to support you, but I also need to protect my own energy. If they guilt trap you, red flag. If they accuse you of not caring, red flag. A healthy partner values your boundaries. A manipulative one sees them as an inconvenience. The third kind of boundaries you need are independence boundaries. Because you are a whole person, not a sidekick. A lot of people think love means doing everything together.

Nadja Hagen [00:06:23]:
Wrong. A healthy relationship is about two people. Two whole people choosing each other, not two people merging into one identity like some kind of emotional fused being. You should be able to have friends outside of your relationship. Hobbies that are just for you. Time alone without feeling guilty. If you need to set a boundary in this area, you could say something like I love spending time with you and I also love having my own space. Having independence makes our relationship stronger.

Nadja Hagen [00:06:56]:
And if they say why do you even need space for me? You could say something because I love myself too. And self love means making sure I don’t lose myself in a relationship. If they can’t handle that, they are not ready for a healthy relationship. Alright, we’ve covered boundaries in romantic relationships, but let’s not Friendships matter just as much. Because what’s the point of having great boundaries in dating if your friendships are leaving you exhausted, resentful and questioning your self worth? So up next we are talking about how to recognize one sided friendships, how to set boundaries with friends without feeling guilty, and how to know when it’s time to walk away from a friendship that no longer serves you. Trust me, this next part is a game changer. So grab some tea, take a deep breath and let’s keep going. Alright, we have talked about romantic relationships, but let’s be real friendships can be just as tricky because here’s the Friendships don’t come with a manual.

Nadja Hagen [00:08:04]:
In romantic relationships there are clear you’re dating, you’re exclusive, you’re married, you are consciously uncoupling. Thanks Gwyneth Paltrow. But friendships, they are more fluid and because of that we often don’t realize when we are in an unhealthy, one sided or toxic dynamic until we are deep in it. So let’s unpack this. How do you know if a friendship is draining you? How do you set boundaries with friends without feeling like a terrible person? And how do you know when it’s time to walk away? Let’s get into it. The first thing. Energy check. Who leaves you feeling lot versus drained? I want you to think about your friendships for a second.

Nadja Hagen [00:08:48]:
Imagine sitting down for coffee with a friend. You spend an hour talking, laughing, catching up. Now when you leave that conversation, how do you feel? If you feel lighter, energized or supported, that’s a good sign. If you feel drained, irritated or mentally exhausted, we need to talk. Because real friendships should leave you feeling full, not emptied out, these are signs that a friendship is Draining you. You always feel guilty or obligated after talking to them. They only reach out when they need something. When you talk, the conversation is 90% about them.

Nadja Hagen [00:09:28]:
When you need support, they magically disappear. If this is happening, it’s not a friendship. It’s a one sided emotional transaction. Friendships are meant to be a two way street. If you are the only one giving, guess what? That’s not a friendship. That’s unpaid emotional labor. Setting boundaries with friends without feeling like a villain. Now let’s talk about setting boundaries in friendships.

Nadja Hagen [00:09:56]:
Because let’s be honest, this can feel so much harder than setting boundaries in romantic relationships. Why? Because friendships feel permanent. Nobody prepares us for the fact that some friendships are meant to last forever. That just like relationships, people grow in different directions. So if you got a friend who’s constantly crossing your boundaries, whether it’s always expecting you to drop everything for them, guilt tripping you for not being a good friend, or showing up late, cancelling plans, or being inconsistent, you might be how do I set a boundary without making it weird? It’s going to feel weird at first because when you’ve been over giving in friendships, setting a boundary will feel like you are doing something wrong. But you are not. You are just changing the dynamic. And if they respect you, they’ll adjust.

Nadja Hagen [00:10:55]:
How do you set a boundary? You could say something, I love our friendship, but I can’t always be available at the last minute. Let’s plan ahead so I can give you my full attention. Or you could say something. Hey, I notice I’m always the one reaching out. I’d love to keep our friendship balanced. Let’s make an effort together. That’s kind, isn’t it? And it’s clear and transparent. I love this one.

Nadja Hagen [00:11:19]:
You could also say something. I need some space right now. But I appreciate you checking in. Let’s catch up soon. If they get defensive or say things, wow, you’ve changed or I guess I’m not important to you anymore, or I always make time for you, but I guess you’re just too busy now. That’s emotional manipulation. A real friend will respect your needs. A toxic one will make it about them.

Nadja Hagen [00:11:52]:
The third step is recognizing when it’s time to walk away. Here’s the part nobody talks. Ending a friendship can be just as painful as ending a romantic relationship. And it’s hard because these are people you’ve shared your life with. But let’s be are not obligated to keep someone in your life just because of history signs. It’s time to let go you feel worse, not better. After every interaction, you are holding onto the past version of the friendship, but not the present. You dread seeing their name pop up on your phone, or you feel drained just thinking about them.

Nadja Hagen [00:12:34]:
Let’s pause here. If hearing that made you think of a specific friend, that’s your answer. Because sometimes the healthiest thing you can do is is love someone from a distance. And I get it. It’s scary. You might wonder, but what if I regret it? What if I end up alone? What if I’m overreacting? You are not overreacting. You are recognizing that your peace matters. And listen.

Nadja Hagen [00:13:04]:
When you create space by letting go what’s straining you, you make room for the friendship that truly align with who you are becoming. So let’s do a quick recap. Friendships should feel energizing, not exhausting. It’s okay to set boundaries, even with people you love. Toxic patterns exist and it’s not your job to fix people. You have permission to let go of relationships that no longer serve you. And most importantly, self love is the foundation of every healthy relationship. If this episode resonated with you, I’d love to hear your thoughts.

Nadja Hagen [00:13:44]:
Send me a message and tell me what part hit home for you. Share this episode with a friend who might need it, or tag me on social media. And let’s keep this conversation going. Remember, boundaries aren’t about pushing people away. They’re about choosing relationships that truly support you. And that’s the kind of love you deserve. Until next time, protect your peace, set your boundaries and never. You are enough.

Nadja Hagen [00:14:11]:
I talk to you in the next episode.

Nadja Hagen [00:14:16]:
Thank you for tuning into today’s episode. If you’re ready to dive deeper into setting boundaries, knowing exactly when and how to communicate them so they stick, I’ve got something for you. Head over to nadiahagen.com boundaries checklist and.

Nadja Hagen [00:14:36]:
Grab your free 8 Steps to Healthy.

Nadja Hagen [00:14:38]:
Boundaries checklist for high achieving women so you feel confident in every interaction. This is my thank you for listening and a way to keep supporting you beyond the self Love Sessions. I can’t wait to chat again in the next episode.