In this episode, Break the People-Pleasing Cycle to Unlock Self-Love and Confidence, we’re diving deep into how to shed the habits that keep you stuck in people-pleasing mode. Discover how embracing self-love can empower you to set healthier boundaries, rebuild your confidence, and transform your relationships for the better. Whether you’re exhausted from saying “yes” too often or ready to redefine your worth, this episode is packed with actionable insights to help you reclaim your time, energy, and joy. Tune in for a powerful conversation that will inspire you to prioritize your needs and step into the most authentic version of yourself.

Listen to the full episode here:

Click the link below to choose your favorite player to listen to.

https://www.buzzsprout.com/2307122/episodes/16308155

---

FULL EPISODE TRANSCRIPT:

Nadja Hagen [00:00:09]:
Are you ready to go? From Am I good enough to wait? Is this even good enough for me?

Nadja Hagen [00:00:16]:
Welcome to the Self Love Sessions Podcast.

Nadja Hagen [00:00:19]:
I’m Nadja Hagen, your hostess and Self Love coach for all your high achieving women recovering from people pleasing and ready to prioritize yourselves. In this show I share actionable tips and tools to help you set healthy boundaries and prioritize yourself so that you can intentionally build your life, aligned with your values and finally build mutual, connected relationships without the need to pretend to be someone you’re not. Let’s dive into today’s episode.

Nadja Hagen [00:00:52]:
Welcome. Welcome to the first episode of the New Year. Happy New Year my friend. Can you believe it? We made it to 2025 and I’m so excited to kick off this year with all of you. Whether you are tuning in for the first time or you are a LOY listener, thank you for being here. You are part of this beautiful growing community and I couldn’t be more grateful. January is all about laying the foundation of self love here on the podcast and today we are diving deep into a topic that’s near and dear to my break the People Pleasing Cycle to unlock self love and confidence. In this episode, I’ll explore how identify those sneaky people pleasing patterns, Unpack the cost of constantly putting others first, and here’s the best part.

Nadja Hagen [00:01:46]:
I’ll map out the first steps to reclaiming your power, building confidence and creating.

Nadja Hagen [00:01:52]:
Healthier boundaries in your relationships. Sound good? Let’s get into it. First things first, let’s talk about what people pleasing actually is. You’ve probably heard the term thrown around a lot, but here’s how I define people pleasing is when you prioritize the needs, wants, action, expectations of others at the expense of your own well being. It’s saying yes when your gut is screaming no. It’s bending over backwards to avoid conflict or to keep the peace. And it’s putting on a smile even when you’re overwhelmed, hurt or exhausted. Does that sound familiar? If it does, you’re not alone.

Nadja Hagen [00:02:41]:
People pleasing is something so many of us, especially women, have been conditioned to do. Maybe it started in childhood when you learned that being the good girl got you praise.

Nadja Hagen [00:02:52]:
Or maybe it’s a habit you picked up in your career or relationships where you felt like your worth was tied to how much you could give to others, how much you could perform, how much you could provide. I’ve been there, I’ve walked that road and let me tell it’s exhausting. But here’s the good you don’t have to stay Stuck in the people pleasing cycle, you have the power to break free, embrace self love and start living life on your own terms. So how do you know if you’re caught in the people pleasing cycle? Here are a few. Tell tellable signs to look out the first sign struggle to say no. That’s a very strong indicator. Even when your plate is overflowing, you will take on one more task, one more favor, one more responsibility. Because the thought of disappointing someone makes your stomach churn.

Nadja Hagen [00:03:53]:
The second sign to look out for over apologize. You say sorry for things that aren’t your fault. Or you apologize for taking up space.

Nadja Hagen [00:04:04]:
Asking for help or setting boundaries. The third sign to look out for is that you suppress your own needs and desires. You are so focused on making others happy that you lose touch with what actually matters for you, what you actually want or need. And the fourth sign is that you seek external validation.

Nadja Hagen [00:04:29]:
Don’t get me wrong here. We all do this from time to time. But the indicator here is to what extent you seek external validation, to what extent you need it. Your sense of self worth is tied to how others perceive you. When someone’s upset with you, it feels like the end of the world. Let me tell you, it’s not. If you’re nodding along to any of these, take a deep breath. This isn’t about blaming or shaming yourself.

Nadja Hagen [00:05:01]:
It’s about awareness. You can’t change more what you don’t acknowledge. So give yourself credit for recognizing these patterns. Awareness is the first step toward practicing self love and reclaiming your confidence. So now let’s talk about the cost of people pleasing. Because here’s the thing. People pleasing isn’t free. It comes with a price tag.

Nadja Hagen [00:05:25]:
And that price is often your peace, your joy and your authenticity. Think about it. Every time you say yes to something you don’t want to do, you are saying no to yourself. You are giving away your time, energy and emotional bandwidth. Things that are precious and finite and over time that takes a toll.

Nadja Hagen [00:05:49]:
You might find yourself feeling burned out.

Nadja Hagen [00:05:52]:
So when you are constantly putting others.

Nadja Hagen [00:05:54]:
First, there is no space left for you. You are running on empty and that’s not sustainable. You might also feeling resentful. Deep down you might feel frustrated or unappreciated because your efforts aren’t being reciprocated or acknowledged. You might also feel disconnected. By prioritizing others needs over your own, you’re losing touch with who you are and what truly matters to you.

Nadja Hagen [00:06:23]:
The cost is real and it’s heavy. But here’s the flip side. The rewards of breaking free from people pleasing are equally real and so so worth it. By setting boundaries and embracing self love, you’re creating space for healthier relationships and more confidence in your daily life. Alright, let’s shift gears and talk about solutions. How do you start breaking the people pleasing cycle? Here are three powerful first steps. The first step Practice saying no. Start small.

Nadja Hagen [00:07:02]:
Maybe it’s turning down an invitation to an event you’re not excited about, or declining a request that doesn’t align with your priorities. No is a complete sentence. You don’t have to justify or explain yourself. The second first step is check in with yourself. Before agreeing to something, pause and ask do I really want to do this? Does this align with my values and goals? Do I have the capacity to take this on? If the answer is no, honor that this is a key act of self love and a way to strengthen your confidence. The third step Set boundaries. Boundaries are not walls. They are bridges to healthier relationships.

Nadja Hagen [00:07:54]:
I repeat this because it’s so important.

Nadja Hagen [00:07:57]:
Boundaries are not walls. They are bridges to healthier relationships. They protect your energy and clarify what’s.

Nadja Hagen [00:08:06]:
OK and what’s not.

Nadja Hagen [00:08:08]:
Start by setting one small boundary and sticking to it. I don’t check work emails after 6pm that’s an excellent boundary. These steps might feel uncomfortable at first, and that’s okay. Growth always feels like a little awkward, but with practice they’ll become second nature. And as you reclaim your power, you’ll notice something incredible. You’ll feel lighter, freer and more aligned with who you truly are. And when you operate from a place of self love, you’re creating a ripple effect in all your relationships.

Nadja Hagen [00:08:47]:
Before we wrap up, let’s take a moment to reflect on what we’ve covered today. First, we’ve defined people pleasing and uncovered how it shows up in everyday life. Then we explored the heavy costs of constantly putting others first. Costs like burnout, resentment and disconnection. After that, we moved into solutions, identifying those people pleasing patterns, taking the first steps to reclaim your power and learning how to say no. Check in with yourself and set boundaries. These are actionable steps you can take today to move closer to a life of self love, confidence and healthier relationships. You’re already doing the work by showing up and listening, so give yourself some credit for that.

Nadja Hagen [00:09:38]:
Breaking the people pleasing cycle isn’t easy, but it’s one of the most empowering things you can do for yourself. Self love isn’t selfish, it’s necessary. When you prioritize your well being, you’re not only showing up for yourself you are showing up as the best, most authentic version of you for the people you care about. If this episode resonated with you, I want to hear from you. Send me a message, leave a review or share this episode with someone who needs it. Let’s start this new year strong together. Thank you so much for spending this time with me today. Until next time, take care of yourself and you’re enough just as you are.

Nadja Hagen [00:10:25]:
Embracing self love is the ultimate way to nurture your confidence, honor your boundaries, and build meaningful relationships. You got this? I talk to you in the next episode.

Nadja Hagen [00:10:38]:
Thank you for tuning into today’s episode. If you’re ready to dive deeper into setting boundaries, knowing exactly where, when and how to communicate them so they stick, I’ve got something for you. Head over to nadiahagen.com boundaries checklist and.

Nadja Hagen [00:10:59]:
Grab your free 8 Steps to Healthy.

Nadja Hagen [00:11:01]:
Boundaries checklist for high achieving women so you feel confident in every interaction. This is my thank you for listening and a way to keep supporting you beyond the self love sessions. I can’t wait to chat again in the next episode.