True leadership isn’t about saying yes to everything – it’s about knowing when to say no. If you want to lead with confidence, set achievable deadlines, and be a role model for others, mastering self-love and boundaries at work is essential.

In this episode, we’re diving into why self-love is the foundation of great leadership. You’ll learn how to set clear expectations, communicate boundaries with confidence, and become the kind of leader who values their own time – without sacrificing reliability. Because when you prioritize self-love, you don’t just protect your energy – you inspire those around you to do the same.

✨ Discover how setting boundaries strengthens your professional relationships.

✨ Learn how self-love makes you a more effective, respected leader.

✨ Get practical scripts for saying no while staying reliable and professional.

If you’re ready to lead well, set realistic expectations, and create a culture of self-respect in your workplace, this episode is for you. Press play now and step into your power as a leader! 

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Feeling drained and overwhelmed? My newest audio guide, The Overwhelm Cure, is here to help! In less than 9 minutes, you’ll learn three simple, effective, and easy-to-implement shifts to go from exhaustion to thriving – so you can feel calm, centered, and back in control.

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FULL EPISODE TRANSCRIPT:

Nadja Hagen [00:00:09]:
Are you ready to go? From Am I good enough to wait? Is this even good enough for me? Welcome to the Self Love Sessions podcast. I’m Nadja Hagen, your hostess and Self Love coach for all your high achieving women recovering from people pleasing and ready to prioritize yourselves. In this show, I share actionable tips and tools to help you set healthy boundaries and prioritize yourself so that you can intentionally build your life aligned with your values and finally build mutual, connected relationships without the need to pretend to be someone you’re not. Let’s dive into today’s episode.

Nadja Hagen [00:00:52]:
Hello my friend and welcome back to the Self Love Sessions podcast. The space where we redefine self love, boundaries and confidence so you can live, work and lead authentically. I’m Nadja and today we are diving into a topic that so many high achieving women struggle saying no at work. If you’ve ever found yourself overloaded with tasks that aren’t yours, agreeing to meetings you don’t need to be in, or feeling guilty for protecting your time, this episode is for you. We are going to talk about practical boundaries, setting in professional settings, managing relationships authentically, and protecting your energy and time. And here’s the Saying no isn’t just about pushing back on extra work. It’s about choosing yourself without guilt. It’s about self love, confidence and building relationships that respect your limits.

Nadja Hagen [00:01:53]:
So before we dive into today’s episode, I have something I want to share with you. If you are struggling with overwhelm and you are constantly feeling exhausted and drained, then I have something for you. I have created an audio with three powerful shifts that help you shift out of overwhelm, out of feeling drained, and into thriving and reclaiming your energy. If this sounds like you need to get your hands on it, then head over to nadiahagen.com overwhelmcure and grab your audio for free as my personal gift to you as a listener of the Self Love Sessions podcast. The audio is less than nine minutes and I promise you you will feel lighter afterwards and you will know exactly what to do when when you want to shift out of overwhelm and into thriving mode. So that’s it. Now grab your coffee, or in my case, your tea. Take a deep breath and let’s get into today’s episode.

Nadja Hagen [00:03:02]:
So let’s start with saying no isn’t selfish, it’s self love and action. I know that might sound counterintuitive. Especially in the workplace, we are taught that being a team player means saying yes, that success comes from always being available, accommodating and agreeable. But here’s the when you say yes to everything, you end up saying no to yourself. Think about the last time you took on something you didn’t have the bandwidth for. Maybe it was a last time request from your boss, or an extra project from a co worker, or even just staying late to help when you were already exhausted. How did you feel afterward? Probably drained, Maybe a little resentful. And if it happens often, it chips away at your energy, your creativity, and your well being.

Nadja Hagen [00:03:58]:
You know what? I learned this lesson the hard way a couple of years ago. I was that person who said yes to everything. Every project, every favor, every quick meeting. I thought I was being helpful, professional, ambitious, especially ambitious. Instead, I ended up feeling completely drained, tired, exhausted. And my biggest challenge was getting out of bed in the morning because I was already so drained just by thinking of getting up and starting my day. So here’s the Reframe Self Love means valuing your time and energy. As much as you value your ambition, it’s about recognizing that your worth isn’t tied to how much you do for others.

Nadja Hagen [00:04:44]:
It’s tied to how well you take care of yourself in the process. And this isn’t just about work. This is about how we show up in all aspects of our lives. When you constantly say yes at work, it bleeds into your personal time. How many times have you been too exhausted to enjoy your evening? Too drained to spend time with loved ones? Or too overwhelmed to pursue your own passions? Or too tired to go to the gym? I yeah, I know, I know. I’ve been there too. And that’s the cost of not setting boundaries. Here is something powerful to Every time you say yes when you want to say no, you are teaching others that your boundaries don’t matter.

Nadja Hagen [00:05:31]:
You are showing them that your time is less valuable than theirs. Is that really the message you want to send? Now imagine how it would feel to create space for yourself, to actually enjoy your time off without guilt, and to be able to focus on projects that light you up. That’s what happens when you say no with confidence. So let’s talk about what happens when we don’t set boundaries. Ever been in this situation? You’re in the middle of deep work and a co worker pings, hey, can you jump on a quick call? Or you know the famous do you have a minute? You don’t want to seem unhelpful, so you say yes. The call runs longer than expected. It’s never just a minute or even five minutes. And suddenly you’re behind on your own deadlines.

Nadja Hagen [00:06:24]:
Or maybe your manager assigns you extra tasks at the last minute, assuming you will just handle them. You don’t push back because you don’t want to seem difficult. But now you are working late again. The cost of not setting boundaries is real burnout. Constant over commitment leads to exhaustion, resentment. Saying yes when you mean no breeds frustration. Loss of confidence. When you don’t stand up for your time, you start doubting your ability to strained relationships.

Nadja Hagen [00:07:03]:
When people expect unlimited access to your time, professional relationships become unbalanced. Let me share something that might surprise you. Research shows that people who set clear boundaries at work are actually more respected by their colleagues. Think about it. When someone has clear boundaries, they are showing that they value their work and time and that commands respect. I recently spoke with Sarah, a client of mine who is a senior manager at a tech company. She used to pride herself on being available 24 7. Her team could reach her anytime and she’d respond within minutes.

Nadja Hagen [00:07:45]:
She thought this made her a great leader. But here’s what actually happened. Her team became dependent on her constant availability. They stopped problem solving on their own. And Sarah? She was burning out fast. After we worked together on setting boundaries, something incredible happened. She started blocking off focused work time. She stopped answering emails after 6pm and guess what? Her team became more independent, more confident in their decision making and they actually performed better with boundaries in place.

Nadja Hagen [00:08:25]:
Interesting, huh? And here’s the Workplaces rarely tell you to slow down. If anything, the more you do, the more they’ll ask. Unless you draw the line, no one else will. One way to notice where you need boundaries Pay attention to resentment. If you feel irritated every time you get a certain request or interaction, that’s a sign that a boundary is missing. So before we dive into how to say no, let’s talk about something I call the strategic no. This is about being selective with your yeses so that when you do say yes, it aligns with your goals and values. Think of your time and energy like a bank account.

Nadja Hagen [00:09:12]:
Every yes is a withdrawal. Every no is a deposit. The question isn’t just can I do this? But should I do this? Does this serve my bigger goals? I love using the three question framework. The first question does this align with my priorities right now? The second question Will saying yes require me to compromise something else important very often? And you will be surprised by that. The answer is yes. The third question Would I still say yes if I wasn’t worried about disappointing someone or if I would not fear any negative consequences? This framework had saved me countless times from over committing to projects that weren’t serving my bigger goals. Now let’s get practical. How do you say no at work without feeling guilty and without it becoming a career limiting move? First, here’s a mindset shift.

Nadja Hagen [00:10:19]:
Saying no isn’t rude, it’s responsible. You are not rejecting the person, you are simply projecting your priorities. And you know one thing super important? The people who are constantly saying yes and at the moment they are saying yes, you already know they won’t be able to deliver because they never do. They are always behind. They don’t keep deadlines. Does this feel and look professional for you? For me it doesn’t. I prefer to have a no. Not within this time frame.

Nadja Hagen [00:10:50]:
We can make it work in X amount of weeks instead of yes of course we do it and I know I will be there empty handed. So here is a simple framework for saying no at work. First acknowledge the request, show appreciation or empathy. Then set the boundary clearly. No over explaining, just the confident no. And offer an alternative if possible. If you can, suggest another approach. So let me give you an example.

Nadja Hagen [00:11:24]:
I appreciate you thinking of me for this project, but my plate is full right now. I want to make sure I do my best on my current priorities. I won’t be able to take that on, but have you considered asking and then you can recommend another colleague that’s able to do this? Another example is I’d love to help but I’m prioritizing my workload to meet my deadlines. Let me share a real example from one of my coaching clients, Jessica. She was always the go to person for PowerPoint presentations in her team. While she was flattered it was taking time away from her core responsibilities, she started using this response. Thanks for thinking of me for the presentation. Right now I need to focus on our Q2 deliverables.

Nadja Hagen [00:12:17]:
Have you checked out the new templates in the shared drive? They really user friendly. The key say it with confidence. No apologizing, no long explanations. Just a clear firm and professional response. So here’s something we don’t talk about. When you set healthy boundaries, you’re not just helping yourself, you are contributing to a healthier workplace culture. Think about it this way. Every time you model boundary setting, you are giving others permission to do the same.

Nadja Hagen [00:12:52]:
You are showing that it’s okay to prioritize well being alongside work. You are demonstrating what sustainable success looks like. And is this not something we all want? We want to be successful. We want to be sustainable too, right? I have seen this ripple effect in action. One client, a team leader. The started blocking off lunch breaks and actually taking them away from her desk. Within a month, her entire team was doing the same. Productivity didn’t drop, it improved because people were more energized and focused.

Nadja Hagen [00:13:28]:
And if saying no still feels hard, I want you to think of Every time you say yes to something that drains you, you are saying no to something that could nourish you. Saying no is not about shutting people out, it’s about prioritizing yourself, your well being, and your success. Your worth isn’t measured by your availability, it’s measured by the impact you make when you’re operating at your best. And sometimes making that impact means saying no to things that don’t serve your bigger purpose. So I challenge you this week. Find one opportunity to say no. 1 situation where you can set a boundary with confidence. And when you do, remind yourself this is self love in action.

Nadja Hagen [00:14:18]:
Thank you so much for tuning in. If this episode resonated with you, be sure to follow the show leave a review. I would be so thankful for this and share the episode with someone who needs it. And if you’re ready to take your self love and boundaries setting to the next level, check out the Overwhelm Cure. My free gift to you. A nine minute recorded audio that gives you three easy to implement shifts that help you shift from feeling drained and exhausted to come back to thriving mode. You can get your free version@nadjahagen.com OverwhelmedCure. You will also find the link in the show notes until next time.

Nadja Hagen [00:15:02]:
Remember, saying no is self love in action and I talk to you in the next episode.

Nadja Hagen [00:15:11]:
Thank you for tuning into today’s episode. If you’re ready to dive deeper into setting boundaries, knowing exactly when and how to communicate them so they stick, I’ve got something for you. Head over to nadiahagen.com boundaries checklist and grab your free 8 Steps to Healthy Boundaries checklist for high achieving women so you feel confident in every interaction. This is my thank you for listening and a way to keep supporting you beyond the self love sessions. I can’t wait to chat again in the next episode.