Last week, I shared with you the first three signs that indicate you may lack boundaries. If we don’t have clear indicators that something is missing, we can easily think it’s us. Something’s wrong, or it’s the way our lives just are. I don’t want that to happen to you. I want you to be able to determine exactly what is going on in your life’s boundaries department and how you can adjust if something gets out of alignment.

Now, let’s move on to the next three signs indicating a lack of boundaries in your life. Remember, awareness is the first step towards change. I’ll be back next week with the next three signs.

1. Sign you lack boundaries: Guilt and anxiety are your companions.

You feel guilty for the smallest things, like taking the last piece of cake or asking someone to move a bench so you can sit, too. You overthink what you’ve said a thousand times because you’re afraid you said something wrong. These are clear indicators that you’re worried about taking up too much space, thinking you don’t deserve to ask for what you want, or being afraid of annoying people and getting rejected. All these have in common is that they’re signs of people-pleasing. Mainly, they stem from childhood wounding where you felt that your wants and needs didn’t matter that much. But you can heal these childhood wounds and wave people-pleasing goodbye (it’s easier than you think.)

2. Sign you lack boundaries: You’re often tired for no apparent reason.

Often doing what others want, leaves you with little room to do what you need or desire. People-pleasing is exhausting. It doesn’t leave enough time for self-care or to contemplate what YOU truly want. It feels like running in a hamster wheel. Helping others is good, but doing so at your expense isn’t. When you don’t have enough time to go after your purpose, life can start to feel empty, leaving you feeling frustrated and it can also lead to mild depression. 

3. Sign you lack boundaries: You easily overshare.

You tend to overshare private details of your life with people you just met. This leaves you open to manipulation and hurt. We need to build trust and that takes time. It’s not the same as being friendly. You can be friendly, warm, and welcoming without giving private details that should be earned through building trust. At the same time, when someone wants to be close to you, you feel scared and turn away. The thought of building real closeness makes you feel uncomfortable. You don’t know how to express your needs and wants appropriately, and this causes you stress and results in intimacy issues. 

I’d love to know: did you recognize a pattern? What is the point you’re struggling most with?

I currently offer limited spots for a 90-minute Coaching Intensive if you’d like to learn to set healthy boundaries. In these 90 minutes, we reveal (and resolve!) your biggest block to setting healthy boundaries, and you learn the tools you need to communicate your boundaries efficiently and feel good doing so. The Intensive is €149 for 90 minutes. You get a recording of your intensive and additional email support for one week.

​Get your spot by clicking here. ​

You’re on the fence? If you’ve questions, just send me an email and I’ll get you your answers.