Boundaries

12 Signs You Lack Boundaries (Part One)

It might not always be obvious that the cause for your relationship or communciation challenges is a lack of boundaries. To help you clearly identify whether you need to set a boundary or improve your communication skills, I share with you 12 signs that indicate you might lack boundaries.

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I help you set healthy boundaries and prioritize your needs so you can intentionally build your life aligned with your values & build mutual, connected relationships (without the need to pretend to be someone you're not).

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This article is the first out of a series of 4 in which I share with you 12 signs you lack boundaries. Here are the first three signs that indicate you might lack boundaries (you’ll find the next three in the next blog post here if you’re curious). If you recognize yourself in these signs, you’d better check your boundaries because you might lack them. Not having proper boundaries has a lot of negative side effects and I want to share the 12 most common signs with you and sensibilize you to recognize a lack of boundaries in your life. So, here we go:

1. Sign you lack boundaries: Your relationships tend to be complicated or dramatic. 

The less you set healthy boundaries, the more your relationships are complicated. Boundaries are like rules in traffic. The red light might stop me and make my journey take longer, but as we all agreed to stop when the traffic light is red, it’s for this agreement that I arrive safely at my destination (and all others, too!)

It’s the same in relationships. Your boundaries are your rules, and they tell the other person how you want to be treated, what kind of communication you accept, and what you won’t tolerate. If you miss these rules of behavior, you’ll probably experience disrespect, challenging communication, and some kind of manipulation in your relationships. 

2. Sign you lack boundaries: You find decision-making challenging.

You’ve spent so much time of your life doing what others want that you’ve lost your sense of self. That means you often don’t know what you want or what you don’t want. Faced with a decision, you’re blank. Additionally, doing what others want from you might leave you wondering if you ever deserve what you secretly want (the answer is yes!). 

3. Sign you lack boundaries: You really, really hate to let other people down.

People without proper boundaries tend to go along with other people’s plans. You worry so much about letting other people down that you say “yes” (even if you’d rather say “no”.) This is what we call people-pleasing. But don’t worry, I can show you exactly how to stop people-pleasing and start pleasing yourself. 

If you want to identify your biggest block to setting healthy boundaries that protect you, your time, and your space while at the same time bringing you closer to others, then I’ve something for you. I offer 1-on-1 intensive coaching sessions of 90 minutes where I help you identify your biggest block to setting healthy boundaries and explore with you together how to overcome this block. That enables you to set boundaries that bring you closer to others and feel good doing so. The 90-minute intensive is yours for €149,- only. The session is recorded, so you’re not disturbed by taking notes. And you can review and repeat as much as you need. You can book your intensive here:

Book your 90-minute Coaching Intensive here by clicking this link.

You’re on the fence? Get in touch with me here and shoot your questions at me. I’ll get you all the answers you need.

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I'm Nadja, your new self-love friend.

You know, not that long ago, that was me. I worked in the highly competitive landscape of investment banking, had a "circle of friends" that was rather a business network than actual friends to lean on in hard times, and aimed to make my family proud without ever asking myself if this was what I truly wanted. 
Until the day my (now) ex-boss fired me with the exact words, "You're not good enough." This was the worst day of my life. I had lost my job, soon followed by my so-called friends, who couldn't do any business with me anymore and let me move back in with my parents. It was embarrassing. You could say I had fallen apart. 

It was only when I learned to set healthy boundaries that I was able to create the life I wanted to live. Now, I run my business around my four-year-old daughter; I live in a beautiful house in the countryside with my family. I have become a pro at setting healthy boundaries and intentionally living aligned with my values. I left people-pleasing behind for good. If I could learn it, you can too! Because I'm just a human learning through life challenges, so are you.

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